In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Randomize
