Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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