i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
