I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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