Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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