so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
