talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
