You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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