I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
