hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
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