hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
