you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
