Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
