Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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