Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize