I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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