I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
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