There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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