What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
