you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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