whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
When are your genitals available?
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize