We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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