he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
