Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I cockslap morals
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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