Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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