you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Randomize
