The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
