I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
