i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Randomize