watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
