I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
