You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Randomize
