She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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