return my video game
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
