Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize