so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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