He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
