I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize