ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
I'm passing your future prison.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize