Taylor Swift is so right about you.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
