did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Randomize
