I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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