Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
