Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
