Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
