Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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