You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
