Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize
