I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
