Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize
