i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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