I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
