my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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