I hate all girls vehemently.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
