you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
why does every cop we meet know your name?
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
