I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize