I should be sponsored by Trojan
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
