Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
