I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
