hell yes lets make some ravioli
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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