it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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