You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
So many bounce houses so little time
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
