Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize
