You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Randomize
