Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
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