I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Randomize
