ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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